We have started the process of moving forward once again! My third little is still nursing before nap and bed, so we are getting all our other ducks in a row before the matching can begin (I need to be completely done nursing him).
I set up an appointment to update my yearly physical and have some release forms signed saying I am physically cleared by my midwife to move forward. We are waiting to hear on when my daughter has her dance recitals so I can set up our home visit as well. Hopefully that will be set by next week for sometime in May. We
have our mental health exam set up (this is where we had to stop the
process last time, when I found out I was pregnant with our own!) for
mid June. Then I believe we will have a home visit and start the
matching process shortly there after!
Almost everything up until now has felt like we have done it before (well, because we HAVE). Now that we are facing new things I get little butterflies knowing we are that much closer to another step in the process and being matched! Being honest, some days feel like I am in a race car on the track, but I am not the driver. Things move fast, appointments being made quickly and while I am the one making them - it feels little surreal. Other days it is like I am on a city bus and we are stuck in traffic and the bus lane is blocked. There is nothing to do and I go about my day and don't do anything regarding this process.
Our third baby. He made me realize as excited as I was before to carry, my heart truly was not set on our family being done at 2 kiddos - no matter how much I tried to convince myself I think I always would have thought about that one more. Right now, I am completely, 100% confident that we are done and I could not imagine any more children of our own. It is such a comforting mind set to be in and have. How lucky have I been in life. I have always wanted to be a mother. It never crossed my mind growing up that I could possibly have trouble. I didn't. Getting pregnant came so easy. I don't want that to come off as bragging. Every time I look at my kids I am so thankful for them and my heart breaks thinking about women and their husbands who have and do struggle day after day. And gay men and women who want a baby/child and are being held back in one way or another. I can't think of a better way for me to give to someone. I love being pregnant. Yes - some aspects, like opening the fridge and gagging because the air is cold, is less than fun. But I enjoy it and for someone to trust ME - to carry their little human. It is incredible all around.
