6w5d ultrasound and updates

I went in for the ultrasound today - I am currently 6 weeks and 5 days along! I had hoped to video chat with my IPs but I screwed that one up by not realizing FaceTime is not Facebook video chatting (I don't have an iPhone) - whoops. I felt very bad about that. My ultrasound tech allowed me to take a video to send to them along with the photos they took and messaged to me after the ultrasound was over. So at least they were able to see the baby's heart beating through that! We will get the chatting platform figured out for the next one in 2 weeks though! Baby's heartbeat is at 137bpm.
I had a small bleed just over a week ago, that we can with pretty good confidence say was from a really small SCH that showed up on the ultrasound today. The tech said I may see a little bleeding, or it will absorb and we wont see anything again. It is not threatening to the baby or myself and is fairly common in IVF pregnancies. So that was a relief to hear.

It was such a beautiful little sight to see. It was such a different feeling than my own. I felt just as much love - but the love was for this little baby and it's parents. That at the end of this journey they would be reunited and it will be exactly how it should be.

My middle holds tight that I can not have coffee (it was restricted until our beta tests starting back in the end of December) - which I can now, in moderation according to my OBs guidelines. It is funny since I love coffee and normally would never miss a chance to have some, that so far I have had one decaf iced caramel macchiato (a small one) and that has been it! My middle announced loudly in the halls at her school that "it was okay her little brother was drinking my smoothie because it is not coffee because I am so pregnant with a baby in my belly". Not many heard her and we had a little laugh over it. She is a little mommy at heart.

Gagging over anything and nothing at all has picked up, along with just general nausea most of the day (my 2 year old pretends to gag and then laugh at me now). That was something I went through with all 3 of my own - so I am used to it and try not to complain. It will pass in due time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would have loved for it to have missed me this time - but I am finding ways to deal. I bought some hard candies today as I am finding that eating/drinking to keep my belly from being empty helps. A handful of nuts (or a small cup of soup for example) here and there has been helpful - just to keep my tummy from becoming completely empty. So I rarely eat a full meal all at once - instead I break it up a bit. I am also exhausted come afternoon. I was cuddling with the little two the other day and fell asleep sitting with them while watching a movie. Not fully asleep as I was still aware they were touching either side of me - but enough where time had passed and I missed someone knocking at the door until I was poked by my middle one! I think part of it is from some of my medications too. Bruises are starting to show up on my backside where I do my PIO injections as well since they are every day now vs every other. I still rotate sides but they are just not getting that extra 2 days break before the next time it is poked again. The injections do not hurt - so no complaints. I will happily do them as long as necessary to help this little one along!

Cravings have included: veggie lo mein, a cuban sandwich (it needed extra pickles and crunchy chips) and pizza with extra sauce with green pepper and pineapple, a big green salad loaded with veggies and fruit smoothies. I am finding a fruit smoothie in the morning is an easy way for me to get something in my tummy without having to eat right away. I normally wait 2 hours before I eat in the morning as I just am not hungry, but with the nausea I just can not do that. After swinging into Target today I am thinking a vanilla bean frapp sounds good from Starbucks as well! I also just now, sparked a craving for oranges and cuties. I might need to make a stop if we go anywhere this weekend for some citrus fruits!
So nothing too crazy (some healthier than others but trying to keep the not so healthy in moderation) and I am still able to eat normally without many aversions - which has been nice. I did have to leave the room at dinner the other night while the kids ate because just the smell was making me gag!

I do think, that is all for now. I probably rambled enough by now anyways!

Emotional Day

I hate writing about 'bad' things but I also told myself this was going to be the whole story of this surrogacy and pregnancy. And this may not be considered bad - but just part of the process.
Around 10:30 yesterday morning while at my kids school, I noticed that I started bleeding. It was not a lot, not nearly to fill any sort of pad. But enough to throw me for a loop. I had had some cramping - nothing more than I thought the waist of my leggings was just too tight (yay bloating). I instantly put a message into my nurse at the fertility clinic - she called me less than 5 minutes after that. It was all I could do to keep from falling apart even though she had some very reassuring things about why this might be going on to say. I then messaged my IPs - I can't imagine what they thought and felt while reading that, but they turned whatever it was into concern for me. That might tell you what type of people they are - I feel so grateful I was chosen to do this with them. School was done an hour later and for the remainder of the time I would be sitting in a room with other adults just talking - so I chose to stay and just put my feet up like I would at home. I was a mess though. That class does not know about any of this yet (I am new to it, our Monday class knows since we have a closer relationship).
Once returning home, spotting started lightening up and eventually by bed it was gone. I was able to catch a short nap with my little ones, and we relaxed the rest of the day together playing games that I could stay hanging out and keeping my feet up. I upped my water intake as well. 
I have not had any spotting or bleeding since before going to bed last night. For that I am relieved.

The nurse said possible causes could be from the Endometrin suppositories or from a SCH (SubChorionic Hemorrhage) which can be more common in women who have undergone IVF. Being mid 5 weeks it is also not uncommon to see some bleeding. 

All of those reasons were reassuring, however I have never experienced bleeding or cramping so it was hard to focus on "this can be normal". My thoughts immediately went to my IPs. Today I am focusing on the good - that the bleeding and cramping has stopped and besides taking my dog to the groomer (where he is basically delivered to my car for me!) we are laying low today. We had some plans to go to the museum tomorrow, but since our tickets can be saved we decided it was best to hold off and maybe go over spring break so I can continue to take it easy and not overdue things so soon. Maybe playing it more safe than perhaps needed by tomorrow - but the kids were not told of the activity so no one will know the difference! (Plus, hopefully going on a weekday will be less crowded than a Saturday!). 

I did earn myself a PIO injection every day now instead of every other day. No complaints - I have said from the start I will do what is necessary for success.

So much of this journey is unknown and can change in an instant. I keep the mindset that everything will be okay and we are going to come out of this with a baby for my IPs. Their baby. And I will continue to keep that mindset because it is what I know, and positive energy is what we need.

So for now that is it, just wanted to fill in with what was going on. 

Cravings and development

I think it is mostly due to medications - but I have had some very intense cravings lately.
It started with a cuban sandwich. Which we fulfilled so I am good with that. For a few days it was donuts - the little glazed munchkins from dunkin donuts specifically (did not give in to it as of now). The other day a pizza with pineapple, green peppers, pepperoni sounded amazing. Tonight tacos seem like the right answer. And a gyro - holy smokes a really great gyro too.
It is a little crazy. Lucky (or not so?) for me, we live too far from most places to make fulfilling these really easy!

Everything as we know it is going well. I will receive my 2nd to last medication delivery tomorrow. Injections are fine. My hips the night and day after my progesterone injection feel like someone came at me with a baseball bat. Not really complaining - but it tends to wake me up in the middle of the night when the pain comes on. It doesn't last forever and passes by afternoon the day following the injection - so for that I am happy!

I am currently 5 weeks and 2 days. The baby is the size of a dot snail, or the size of a peppercorn if food is more your thing. Major organs are beginning to develop and the heart is starting to form its different chambers.

That is about all for the moment. Just taking things day by day and hibernating from the germs when we do not have school or classes!

I do feel a little Regina George after too many Kalteen bars ... my leggings are even getting tight lately thanks to the med bloat. Maybe time to make a custom pair of joggers!

Beta and meds

I had my first Beta yesterday and it came back 265! Meaning ... I am officially pregnant!! I will go back tomorrow for a second draw to make sure that that number is at least doubling.

Looking at a full sharps container had me thinking about how many injections, pills and suppositories I have gone through so far.
So breaking it down:

 - 23 Lupron injections (Injected in the belly daily. I stopped doing them the week prior to transfer)

- 8 PIO injections (Progesterone in Oil; Intramuscular injection. Those are done every other day and started the week of transfer).

- 39 Estrogen patches (Ranging from wearing one patch at a time to 4 at at time currently. They are changed every other day).

- 34 Endometrin suppositories (Another form of progesterone; I started with 2x/day and now do them 3x/day)

- 40 Baby Asprin

- Daily prenantal and Vitamin D

Before transfer I had 2 ultrasounds to check my lining, 5 blood draws since starting meds up until now (with another tomorrow for my 2nd beta). I've had 3 days of bed rest (right after transfer), and now have various restrictions.

I have done all of my injections myself and have only almost fainted once (the first PIO injection). It has become part of my day and while I still write it down in my planner and have reminders in my google calendar, I just automatically know when to watch the clock and do everything.

I am currently 4 weeks pregnant - and meds (the PIO injections, endo suppositories, baby asprin) will continue until I am about 10 weeks where they will start to look at my numbers and begin weaning me off. I could be on meds until 12 weeks if necessary (with the exception of prenatals which will continue obviously throughout the pregnancy)!

Every single medication is incredibly important - I have zero complaints about any of them. While I would gladly inject myself 3x a day if it meant I would not have to do the suppositories - sure, I would actually do that in a heartbeat! But the suppositories are fine - messy - but fine and they do their job!!