The Birth of Baby S :: It's a Girl!

Baby S was born and given back to her parents on October 15 at 3:43 pm. Love filled every inch of her delivery room. 

On Sunday evening (her due date) shortly after getting into bed, I started noticing contractions. They were nothing big - perfectly manageable with just laying and breathing. They were coming around every 5-7 minutes. This continued the entire night which left me sleeping less than 20 minutes at any given time.
6am came around and I was just not feeling the greatest. I will spare some details there. I put a call into my amazing Doula and then the hospital to see what they wanted me to do. We decided to continue timing contractions (which still were lasting about 1 minute and coming every 4-5). I told my husband there was going to be a birthday and he should start calling into work for a sub and the kids schools. My husband started prepping everyone to leave for my parents - where the kids would be staying while we were at the hospital. We decided around 9:45am to start our drive south. My grandma was going to watch the kids at my parents for us until my mom got home from work early afternoon so we picked her up, and brought everyone to my parents. Contractions were lasting 1 minute and coming about every 3-4 at this point.
We arrived and met the parents and my doula at 11:15am in the lobby of the hospital. My husband and the dad sat and talked while the mom, my doula and I walked around in the hospital for almost an hour before checking in.
Last week when at my OB appointment I was dilated 3 so when we checked in to be monitored for the 20 minutes, I was hoping to see a bit of progression. I was about a 4. Not bad, but honestly not as much as I had been hoping for. The second the 20 minutes were up, I was up and getting in the large tub to labor for awhile. Contractions were still lasting 1 minute and coming about every 2.
I need to pause here and say - I could not have had more amazing people at my side during this time. My doula, who had been with me for 2 prior births of my own kids, my husband who recalled everything that was helpful in the past and the parents who were ready and willing to step in and help in every way possible. From counter pressure during contractions, to back rubs and jokes - so many jokes - I could not have been more grateful for each and every one of them during all of this. I felt nothing but love as they were preparing their own hearts for the arrival of their sweet baby. Our nurse as well was a true gem. She checked in, kept things light, was not pushy about checks or IVs or anything of the sort (just that they needed to happen at some point). 
I want to say I was in the tub about an hour, maybe hour and a half before deciding to get out for another check. Our nurse checked ... and I was only at 5cm. I will be honest here, it was a blow. I was hoping to be closer to 10 at this point. My water at this point was still in tact as well. She mentioned it was pretty thick but was sitting "right there" and was seemingly acting as a sling, in a sense, for baby which was causing her to not descend further. She gave us her expert opinion, and said if we broke waters - she thought labor would speed up quite a bit faster (Minor backstory - our third baby was born in his amniotic sac before it broke because it was so thick!). After a very quick consult with my doula, we decided to go for it and have them break the waters.
The OB who was originally going to deliver/be with us was in another delivery, so we got to meet the on call Midwife. She as well was amazing. She walked us through everything that was going on  ... and broke the amniotic sac.

Things start to get a little intense at this point. There was meconium present in the fluids which meant the NICU team would be called in and ready if there was a need when baby was born. I became worried for baby's safety, and also for myself not knowing if this meant an automatic c-section (it did not). No questions asked though, I would have done anything for baby to come into this world in the safest way possible.
The minute she broke waters, I went from 5cm dilated to 10cm and pushing in 2 contractions flat. It was the most intense, and in a way scary few minutes because of how fast everything was moving. I will admit I was not ready for that or expecting it. The midwife never moved from where she was because of how fast things went. I had to remain on my back and in the bed just because of how fast everything was moving - not my ideal vision but it was what worked. A few times my doula had to put me back in check - I did say once I could "not do this" - but she reminded me I was/am strong and yes I could. I knew I could and would do it. I recall my husband looking at the parents while I was pushing/in between pushes as we got very close that that they really needed to watch their baby coming out - because they would only have this one chance and it would not happen again. My husband thinks birth is a pretty cool thing so I am happy he was there to help them know where to look. Earlier in the day he mentioned jokingly to not worry about where they were looking because soon all modesty would be out the window!
I was not closely watching the clock, but I believe within 10 minutes baby came out and was placed on my chest. It was the plan that I would hand her to mom - which still somehow happened with help. I was given the honor of sharing to the parents that they had a sweet baby girl (a secret I have been holding since the 20 week anatomy scan!) - and let me tell you that was such a gift to tell and watch their faces! SUCH a gift. I believe I said something to mom along the lines of "here is your baby girl". You guys - my heart exploded with happiness in that moment. Dad came back a minute later asking if it was a boy or girl because I think he was just too excited to really take in what just happened!!
Baby girl was taken quickly from mom to be checked out and very shortly after being placed in the warmer gave that beautiful baby cry. She was 8lbs 15oz and 22 inches! Not the biggest in pounds baby I have delivered, but for sure the longest!! And she was (and is) beautiful.
Mom started skin to skin once baby was cleared (no need for NICU time thankfully!) right next to my bed. It was again a gift to see their first moments bonding and taking each other in while work on me was finished up by the midwife.
(Maybe too much information for some ... but I somehow escaped this without any tearing. I believe the midwife was a huge factor in how she handled baby/me during the delivery). We spent about an hour or 2 in the delivery room as a group and then everyone was moved into our own rooms, next to each other, for recovery and bonding.

Reflecting a bit. I have always felt lucky to be in a position to even be a surrogate. People would say how amazing it was I was doing this, the gift it was, ect. I will say while I knew how big it was - I never realized the full enormity of it until the moment baby girl was placed back in her parents arms. In that moment a family came together and dreams were made. It is still hard to describe the feeling of it - but it is something I will never forget and something I feel so lucky to have to hold onto. I am so, so excited for this family and feel nothing but incredible love for them. 

I gave space to the family the rest of the evening and nurses during checks let me know they were all smiles and cuddling with their sweet little one. That was all I needed to hear. You don't get much sleep in a hospital so I wont say that necessarily happened for me- but I did watch some garbage tv and no one asked me for a cup of water or chocolate milk. So there was that. And there was ice - hospitals have the best ice. I admit though I did miss my own little humans and husband during the night. My husband stayed for a bit and then left to go back to my parents to take care of the kids there for the night. He brought them up around noon on Tuesday to meet the baby and prepare for my discharge from the hospital. My kids - especially my older two - were instantly in love with her. They were so excited holding her and just taking her in as the little person she was - not just the baby in my tummy they had come to love. They sang, read books to her and just hung out. My oldest did cry when it was time to say goodbye - she has such a sensitive heart and I was curious how that goodbye would go. I reminded her that she would always be able to send pictures, letters - see pictures and keep in contact with the parents and baby. I also reminded her how important her (and her siblings) roles were through all of this. They were a huge part in helping bring this family back together - from sacrificing things they wanted to do because I simply couldn't, to supporting me in their own ways and just loving this baby as she grew with us until this moment ... I hope one day she can fully understand how big this was for her as well. And who knows - hopefully there will be a day we can visit and see them in person again - I know our family would love to at some point.

There are people I need to thank in my own life that helped me make this all work. Because it was never just me.
My husband. From the from mention of "I want to be a surrogate" he kept an open mind. We talked, researched, discussed ... and he supported me every step of the way. Always made sure I knew he was there and trusted me. From travel and transfer, nausea and cravings ... to the aches and pains and being completely in the moment where I delivered another couple's child. I could not have gone through this without him. Babe - I love you so much and I am so lucky to have such a strong partner in life and role model for our kids.
Our kids. We talked about everything with them and took in their feelings. And they opened their hearts to the idea of me doing this for another family. To loving on a baby for months and months ... to having to say goodbye (for now) to a baby they came to love and want to help take care of in my belly. They always knew this baby would be born and live with its mommy and daddy ... but as much as you can never prepare your own heart for things - I knew we could never fully prepare theirs. They have taken on a love for another family that I never fully realized was possible at such a young age. Their excitement for them, talking to baby about her parents while she was in my belly ... everything. I always have been, but will say it again - I am such a proud mom to my own children through everything they have allowed me to do for someone else.
To my parents - for trusting me that I knew what I was doing - that we knew what was right even when it may have seemed crazy. For taking on our kids multiple times and sometimes last minute. We knew we would need help to do this - and you were there. And my grandma for her last minute willingness to take on 3 kids while I was laboring. Knowing they were safe and taken care of allowed me to do what needed to be done in the final hours.
To my father in law for support and a late night here and there when we called. Knowing the kids were safe, taken care of and loved - while we made sure we got done what was needed means the world. I know it wasn't always easy to understand but it meant a lot to have still had your support for our kids.
To my amazing, amazing Doula. Once again you were a support from the first moment I mentioned this journey to the birth and even right now in this moment. You have this amazing way of knowing what is needed in any given moment that is magical - both in the labor and delivery room and beyond. Thank you for reminding me I am strong and making me realize it when I was wavering. To have been able to have you guide us through 3 births now is a gift. I could not have imagined any of this without you and I am so happy to know you as both my doula and friend.
To our family and friends and coworkers - for your love and support from the first time we mentioned what we were doing, to the birth of this sweet baby girl. And not only for us, but for this family you have never met and know nothing about - beyond that we were connected to them.

I am still processing so many feelings/emotions. None of them sad about baby/parents going home - just to be clear. I am so, SO excited to hear of the joy this baby brings to her parents. I wish everyone could know this incredible family - however you will just have to trust me. I walked out of the hospital with a huge smile feeling so calm about everything that had happened over the past few days - and months - and year.

Thank you for taking the time to read, the time to leave comments for me - I truly have read every single one and they mean so much. I consider myself an open book if anyone has any questions - please feel free to ask.

Much love,
Kristen

38 going into 39 weeks

It is hard to believe we are at a point where the baby could safely come at any time. Hard to believe that just in January, this baby was a tiny embryo that was living in a dish until transferred to me to care for.

I have not been too talkative ... I tend to close up a bit the closer to due dates I get. The OB can tell me only so much about how things are going, but in the end the baby ultimately decides when things will really start moving along. Typically I do not share too much either about what the OB says, just because it really does not matter - obviously I let the IPs know because they have a lot at stake and travel plans to consider and think about. Things are progressing, baby is head down and doing great. Those are important facts :)

I keep picturing the birth and being able to in a perfect situation, hand baby to mom and dad ... I can't imagine the feelings in that moment but I am so excited for them. Even more so, I can not imagine their feelings and emotions right now and every day leading up to that moment. This has been a pretty incredible journey and one that I still feel so lucky to have been a part of.

I get questions if I will do this again. The simple answer is no. There was nothing that went wrong, nothing I would change - but being pregnant takes a lot physically, emotionally and in terms of time. I knew going into this journey that it would be my only one as well. I wanted to help a family grow and some time this month, that will have happened. And our kids are getting older and just need more of us. From sports/activities, to some medical stuff we are getting under control for one and just watching them grow - I feel like the time is to focus 100% back on their needs even though I feel like, we have done a pretty good job of that these past 1.5 years with everything pregnancy related going on. I hope to bounce back quick to get right back into the chaos of our life!

If you ask my middle what she is most excited for - first she wants to know if baby is a girl or boy (she is hoping a girl, for the record) and then she wants to go ride rides at the big indoor place with me. Sweet girl missed her summer of rides at the amusement park so now she is eyeing the indoor one. I will need to find a way to grab some ride wristbands and make that happen as soon as I can for the kiddos. All of my kids talk to baby -  it is pretty sweet. The youngest says "hi baby" quite a bit and hugs my belly. The middle tells baby to come on out that it's parents are waiting and loves it so much. The oldest doesn't necessarily talk to the baby as much - but tells me she is excited for its parents and can't wait to meet this little human.

I could not have gotten through any of this without my husband. From the initial morning sickness when he picked up the slack, to being just tired and he not saying a word when dishes would build up or laundry might be sitting a while ... and now when I am just a bit slower to do stuff. He has never complained. I can't imagine a better person to have at my side for this.
And the kids. Who never complain, who ask the most random of questions at Dr appts perhaps a bit too loud at times while in bathrooms or the office ... and who care for this baby but know that it will soon go live with its mommy and daddy - I look at them every single day and remember why I am doing this. I can not imagine my life without my kids - even on the worst days ever - and I can not imagine the feeling of struggling to have children. To anyone reading who has traveled that dark road, or who is - my heart is with you. I have no clue of what you go through - but my heart is with you and I wish you everything and more.
And my momma. From taking care of the kids while we had appointments and the transfer out of state, to being on call right now for the birth and just overall supporting this even when I think she was a bit nervous for me before it all began ... we never could have made this go as smooth without her support.
And to everyone reading - I truly take every comment and hold it close. I have kept the journey pretty much to the group or my specific IG page not to overwhelm my personal page. So sometimes it feels pretty closed off from everyone since most of you know on my personal page I share our life story through photos and stories ... but knowing I have people supporting me/us and wishing this family the best as we go means a lot.

Now that I have been all sappy and crap. This will probably be the last post before I give birth. Crazy to consider but so exciting. My little one wants more puffs at 8:45am (don't judge, they are organic or something like that) and chocolate (almond) milk and I should get laundry actually started (it is sitting in the wash, just not on quite yet!).

With love and gratitude,
Kristen

This is 34 weeks

I can not believe we are this far. Time is flying and looking a head at September and my family calendar, October will be here before we know it!
Last week and this week I have worked concessions at a pro football game and a concert - both 9+ hours on my feet with no real break. It actually was not too bad - just really sore feet the night of and day after! It was fun though and we made some pretty decent money toward our daughters dance tuition. I would love to possibly squeeze one more event in somewhere before baby arrives, but I might need to have my mom go in my place and I stay with our kiddos!

Heartburn and acid reflux. Insomnia. Getting up every 20 minutes to use the bathroom until I actually fall asleep .. only then it is every 2 hours. Inability to take deep breaths. Daily headaches (it has been a 3 week trend now to wake up with them; blood pressure and everything else that might point to something larger going on has been normal for the record. We are making sure of that!). Chiro appointments 2x a week (such a help). Grunting when I roll over. The inability to sit for long periods of time. Constantly being tired .... This is 34 weeks. And it too shall pass.

I would be lying if I said this was a breeze. Medically, it is. And I am so thankful for that. There are some days I struggle emotionally just because I am so tired and am in almost constant pain and there seems to be no relief (but again, it will pass and I know that). I feel like I cheat my own kids of small things from time to time - like sitting on their floor at night for longer than 5 minutes because I just can not stand the pain or discomfort. It will all pass and be back to normal before too long.

I have had more people recently ask if it will be hard to give up the baby - more so than any other point. And as always my answer "I am not giving anything/anyone up - I am giving this child back". And as we approach the due date, I find myself more and more excited to hand this baby to mom and dad where s/he belongs and has belonged all along.

My middle just came over to request "mama cuddles" - and that is something I just can not pass up. More to come another time :)

xoxo.

29 weeks

It is getting hard to breathe.
Baby is currently breech and his/her head is sitting up in my lungs it feels like. I am finally giving in and making a chiropractic appointment to see if we cant make some room for baby to flip around soon. Just a hard pill to swallow - with everything going on with our middle kiddo, medical bills are up over $700 so far ... and we still have a few things to do before those will taper off., I have been saving every penny I come by. I would go to the end of the world for my own kids even if it means I sit uncomfortable for a while. Which I have been ... I just need some relief. So now that I have aired all that!
Baby moves around like crazy. All the time. Especially while I am trying to sleep. My belly button the other day was about 4" off center because of how baby was positioned. It was weird looking to be honest.
Everything is looking good at appointments. I go back in 1.5 weeks as we have started appointments every 2 weeks now. I had my TDAP booster at my 28 week ... I forgot how much they hurt! Though the pain was short lived thankfully (and let's be honest, at this point what is another injection ;)

I think that is about it ... there does not seem to be too much to update at the moment. Just counting down the days - time is passing  by very quick! I can not believe 30 weeks will hit on Sunday already.

People are very interested in surrogacy as they learn what I am doing (I have been getting a lot of questions after the kids will tell someone "we aren't keeping this one" since it seems everyone feels the need to ask my kids if they are having a brother or sister) - so it is pretty neat to share a little bit of it. I don't always based on time to be honest ... questions can get long and if we are in a hurry - I hate being rude. But most of the time we are able to spare a few to chat!

More to come as it happens I suppose!

heading into 28 weeks

Sunday will be 28 weeks and the THIRD TRIMESTER! Roughly 12 weeks to go ... seems like we just started most of this a few weeks ago. I honestly can not believe how fast this is going. Each week I get more and more excited for my IPs to meet their little one (though, I am trying not to wish the weeks away, I do love summer!).

If you see me here and there and it looks like I am wearing the same thing ... it's probably because I am wearing the same thing as the last time. So far I have been able to get away with 3 pair of shorts, 1 skirt, 2 casual dresses and 1 dress I made, plus a handful of tanks/t-shirts. I had to retire 2 of the t-shirts however, they are just not long enough anymore due to washing/drying and the belly (they were from my last keeper baby, so they have been through more than their share of wear!). I sewed up 2 tanks yesterday that will transition well for after baby for wearing with cardigans - so I am excited about those. I could sew a few more things but I have been only making stuff as needed - I don't go too many places where I need different outfits so I hate to make/buy clothing I might not be able to use after again. No complaints about it - I have been pretty proud of just going with the flow and making it work!

Baby is taking up quite a bit of real estate these days. Luckily mostly belly though it can be hard to breathe sitting for too long. I was struggling a little with the scale the other night - but remembered everything I have put myself through to get to this point and that feeling quickly - and I mean QUICKLY - vanished. Medications alone added 10lbs so taking that away I am right about where I was with my own kiddos. So again, not complaining because I said from the start I would do anything to make this successful - and we have!

Sitting on the floor with the kids is getting harder - mostly on my back. I tend to lay flat and put my feet up to help take the pressure off my back - which works well! I am still too stubborn to give in and pay for a massage. The husband tries to help but bless his heart - if he continues to do the dishes for me we can call it even ;) I might need to give in soon though - I hear the chiropractic office has a great massage therapist and their prices are no where near a salon/spa. Which, I do not need fancy - just effective!

My kids love feeling and SEEING baby move - which, baby is doing almost all of the time. I was able to point out the baby's butt poking up to my older two. They laughed and laughed and thought it was hilarious that we could feel that through my belly :) They all talk to baby constantly - mostly to say hi, goodnight and remind baby how much his/her parents love him/her.

Heartburn tends to show up whenever it feels like it. Sometimes it is intense, sometimes not as bad. Annoying, but nothing that can't be dealt with fairly easily.

We have toured the hospital, my doula and I have been in contact, and things are going along to plan. Very thankful for that. I will get an update to some vaccines at my next appointment and I believe at 32 weeks will have one last ultrasound to make sure everything looks good heading into the last few weeks.

I feel like that is about it for now ... happy everything is so "boring" and how it should be and hoping it continues that way!

xoxo

24 weeks and some truths

First, what a milestone. Everything with baby looks great. No gestational diabetes (thankyouverymuch).

Now. For the nitty gritty. 
Y'all.
I am full. At least I feel full. All. Of. The. Time.
I can only imagine it is something like sitting at a buffet eating constantly all day long. Except I eat once and feel that way the rest of the day. Baby just feels in such a different position right now than I remember. But who recalls the "bad" after it is all said and done ... I am guessing I do not!
I eat and I am so uncomfortable for the rest of the day. Sitting, standing, laying ...
Chocolate gives me heartburn/reflux too. Tums are my favorite bedtime snack. The berry blend has become a favorite. If I close my eyes I can trick myself into thinking it's a bowl of fresh fruit.
Just kidding. I can't do that. I am not a magician. I hope you did not believe me.
I also can not recall the last time I rolled over in bed without making some sort of grunting noise. Sorry husband.

(that's basically me rolling over)

I might break down soon for a massage or a few chiropractic appointments. That really helped with my own as far as being able to get a little more comfortable. Headaches come and go still - which is a bummer but something I am used to. Assuming an adjustment might help a bit with that. I am trying to save money for this upcoming year of dance/activities for the kids ... so it is hard for me to spend money on myself. Always looking out for the kiddos - though I would have it no other way.

Someone asked if I regret doing this with not feeling the best.
I can honestly say knowing what I do now, I would full force go for it again with zero hesitations (if we went back in time that is - this will be my only surrogacy journey).

I'll try to keep this to the extent of my complaints. I do hate complaining but I feel so fake if I say I am always feeling great. I am sure I went through this with my own and I came out on the other end just fine. I always do - I always come out better at the end. The difference is that this time two other people will come out for the better at the end of it as well. And that is the why, the reason, the purpose of this all. To help a family have what we have. A child they have yet to meet but have already gone to the end of the world and back to have.

So if you got through all that whining and complaining, thanks. It is nice to get it all out. If you see me out and about rolling around ... pretend it's normal. It will make me feel better, lol.

xoxo

23 weeks 3 days

It has been a long time since I have updated! It all feels so typical now that I feel like there is not too much to say.
The anatomy scan went really well. Baby is still a baby ... and growing perfectly. A busy little one too! Made me have to go back for another quick ultrasound about 2 weeks after just to have some more clear photos on file. IM was in town for the original anatomy scan which was really fun.
Both parents will be in town again Sunday to go to a baseball game with us and then we have my 24 week appointment Monday followed by a tour of the hospital. Glucose test time already - hoping that this pregnancy is no different than my own kiddos and we avoid gestational diabetes.

I am feeling great. Baby seems to be sitting high though - which is pretty uncomfortable. I always feel full and sitting for long periods of time can be rough. If I am being honest, sleep is the worst. I am up lately every hour and not really falling into a deep sleep. Getting comfortable is quite a challenge so I am feeling tired lately. It is all part of pregnancy though, so I am just trying to go with the flow! Baby is growing and looking great and that is the most important thing!

I think that about wraps it up really!
As always I am open to questions in the group!

with love
xoxo

Happy Mothers Day

Dear IM,

Happy Mother's Day to you.

This year looks a little different than next year will! Celebrate today knowing what the future holds and who you already have become. That person who I am guessing that in your heart, you have been for so long.
I carry the great honor of temporarily growing your little one. Today we are 18 weeks - almost halfway there! Time flies, as it always does and before you know it, you will be holding on to your sweet baby like you have been in your heart for so long. To say I am so incredibly excited for you - is a complete understatement!

I can't wait to see you in about 2 weeks!

With love,
K

17 weeks

Not too much to report!
The baby is doing very well. Heart rate was recorded at 155bpm last week with an ultrasound because the little ninja would not stop moving enough to properly document it on the doppler :) The ultrasound tech asked if I knew the sex (I don't, I promise yall!) and asked if I wanted to. Which while I personally enjoy knowing while pregnant - I do not see any reason that I know before the IPs know the sex of their own baby. To be honest, it is not bothering me as much as not knowing with my own did! Just knowing there is a healthy little baby growing and waiting for his/her mom and dad is enough for me!!
(baby is facing screen, it's arm cross the top area near the head)

I finally experienced the soul crushing realization that my favorite sandals (so, when I say favorite, I mean more like "I havent worn them in maybe 2-3 summers but they sounded really comfortable again and THIS was the summer I was going to wear the crap out of them". And by soul crushing - I was a bit bummed and got over it because you cant change it, lol) are now too small. I guess 4 pregnancies really does change the size of your feet! A bummer to ourgrow a pair of Birks - but I will need to watch for a deal somewhere/sometime and perhaps grab the Arizona style this time around! They last forever which is the nice part and were very comfortable.

Anyways - back to baby - because that is why we are here! Baby is starting to make him/herself known. Feeling more and more movement every single day. And every time I just wish IM could feel this instead of me. I am hoping when she is here next time baby will be strong enough to let her feel too! I remind myself what an incredible position I am in to be able to do this for someone else! The next appointment is the day after Memorial day. I am excited to see the IM again as she is flying in for it!

So far I have made 3 tops and 1 pair of shorts. I have 2 more pair of shorts planned along with a handful of other tops and tanks. Spring never came after winter decided to leave - but I am in no way complaining! I like warmer weather and not having to layer up for the cold!!!

More to come :)

15 weeks

There is not too much to update at the moment ... I am feeling so much better lately. It seems the morning sickness/nausea and tiredness (beyond the normal tired) are gone. I do not feel like I am going to pass out fast asleep every time I sit down! I am noticing some lower back pain if I am sitting on the floor too much - so I just make sure to move around when playing with the kids and don't stay in one spot for too long (Barbies and LOL Dolls like going on lots of vacations and trips to always be on the move!). I should go and treat myself to a massage or a chiropractic appt ... but finding the time is a whole other story! The kids are still in dance (recitals are in June), soccer starts up next week, my oldest ends her rein as a princess in our town in June ... and just life makes it seem like we are always on the go! I cant say I would trade it for anything though.
I have made 2 tops so far for myself ... and was about to start on a 3rd but I ran out of printer ink when I went to print the new pattern. Maybe I will be able to grab some time this weekend to get it made! I should also start sewing up some tops for the kids for summer - we finally have hit some nice weather and I know before long they will be needing some warm weather wear!
I have my 16 week appt next Friday - and the 20 week anatomy scan is made for the day after Memorial day! Crazy to think next month we are halfway done already!
Belly has popped a bit. I felt baby move once but not since - I am just waiting to feel him/her again so I can let our IPs know!

I think that about wraps it up for now!

Goodbye Injections

As of Saturday I was officially done with injections.
In total, starting from December 28th, I have had:
24 Lupron injections &
48 PIO injections.
I administered every single one to myself.
Now I am proud - I mean, who wants to stab themselves daily (the answer if you are wondering, is no one. I will speak for everyone on that). But I cant help but think that I did this for only one cycle. One cycle that thankfully took and now a beautiful little baby is growing. There are women though who do this over, and over and over again. And are still left with a broken heart.
While the injection itself does not hurt, it is the knots that form, the blood, the bruises, the little puncture marks that start forming ... it all adds up and when the next injection needs to happen - at least for me - it became a little game at times to just get it done. I could not sit and think about it or it would have taken me forever. I had to remind myself WHY these needed to be done and the minute I did that - I had all the will I needed to get it done.
At the end of all the meds - I have no complaints. Just a little bit more insight of what women who fight infertility are doing day in and day out - and my medications, from reading blogs and instagram pages - are no where near what would need to happen if I were trying to conceive my own child. And again, I said a little - because I will never fully be able to understand or realize the toll it puts on you/them. I never want to sound like I know what infertility is like - because I dont and never will. I only know going through the surrogacy process is like, my feelings and emotions and how it has impacted me.

I have 2 more patches and 2 more suppositories left to do. Saturday at 1pm when I remove my patch, I will be completely weaned of my medications. That is so exciting. And Easter Sunday I will be 12 weeks pregnant. Can you believe how fast it is going?
I am still tired almost all the time. I hope weaning off meds helps a bit. The nausea still exists and hits pretty hard come evening. I have been severely slacking in meal planning. I really should have taken my own advice and done some freezer meals in advance. I will need to remember to do that before giving birth. While I wont have a baby to take care of (because news flash - my IPs will have their baby to love on then!!!) - I know I probably wont want to be cooking either the first few days.
Starbucks is still my go-to. A sweet friend sent me a gift card and I shed a tear using it today. Because hormones are crazy and it was just what I needed. It was very good too for the record. Starbucks just gets me.
Anyways .. I think that is all for the moment?
Back to trying to motivate myself to get some cleaning done!

10w2d update

Yesterday, for the first time in about 4 weeks I did not have to inject myself in the backside. It felt like a treat if I am going to be honest. The actual injection does not bother me, but I was running out of space to do them in the target area that did not have some resistance as I was pushing in the meds. I could also almost guarantee that it would bleed a bit after as well. Since I have done my meds today now, I officially have 2 injections left! I will be completely done next Saturday with the remaining medications! I was warned it may be a, say, trying time emotions wise so I am doing my best to take a breath before I say anything if I am feeling less than happy. I would lie if I said they don't affect me in any way - and that would not be beneficial to anyone reading this and truly wondering how it is going. It is hard, but it isn't impossible. I just take the medications one day at a time and try to stay focused on why I need them right now. I do hope once I am done, some of the nausea will ease up and I will gain a little more energy back. I think the lack of energy has been the hardest for me. I do not feel like cooking once dinner time hits - and I feel so guilty over that. It is a combination of being tired and nausea creeping up hard on me. I actually looked at doing Let's Dish again to get us through a week and the cost was just too much to justify. We are making it work though and soon enough I will be back to enjoying cooking dinner again!

Starbucks has been my saving grace once again. Maybe not for my wallet but for my nausea - and in the end that is all that matters! I do not know what it is or why, but sipping on my (decaf) frapp just seems to make everything right for a while. I have not run into any issues getting my drink made correctly, for the record. So no more tears in Starbucks ;)

I am not having issues going into the fridge - that as an issue with all 3 of my own. However, I can not stand the smell of the over preheating. We will get past this too.

I scheduled my 12 week appointment and NT scan, and my 20 week just to get those on the schedule. Crazy to think we are at a point to schedule the 20 week! It is SO exciting though.

If you see me wearing the same pair of sweatpants - I'm trying. I have reached a point where I don't necessarily look pregnant, but some of the bloating from meds is still there and everything else just feels too tight and makes me feel nauseated. I did order 2 pair today in different colors - I figured they will be handy now and this fall again if not before baby arrives, after s/he does.

We are moving along and it feels good. I am so excited to meet my IPs in person in the next few weeks as well! While this all seems like so much to me with the nausea, exhaustion, ect going on - I can't imagine what it is like for them. I do try and not complain much about stuff (except maybe this entire post feels like a complaint - sorry - I was hoping it came across more of just "hey these are the current facts") since it is what it is.

I think that is all I have for the moment!
Until next time ...

8w5d update

I had my second ultrasound this morning. My whole crew came with - my middle is convinced the baby is in my butt so apologies to anyone she might share that with. We are trying. She is so interested in everything and really takes everything in. 
The baby has a strong heartbeat of 170 and was moving around. I could not be more excited for our IPs right now. Such a beautiful thing to see.

I am feeling decent otherwise ... morning sickness is raging right now. I am loving on almost anything crunchy (veggie sub sandwiches, carrot/celery sticks, kettle chips, pickles) ... as long as it is crunchy I am game. I have no cried in Target since my last incident. Thankyouverymuch.

I received my medication weaning schedule. I am doing my last injection on the 24th - and let me tell you how happy my hips are about that! Here is the thing - if needed I would do these every single day of this pregnancy and not complain. I am just happy that is not the case.

I think that is about all I have for right now!

tears in Target

I think this story is worth remembering ... so my embarrassment is your laugh for the day.

The nausea lately has been pretty bad. I am dealing and trying not to complain, I know it will pass. But it is hard to feel like all I want to do is lay still so I feel halfway okay. I knew it would happen, but it still doesn't make it any easier.
As with one of my other kids, sipping on a decaf cafe vanilla frapp from Starbucks takes away the nausea for a while. I don't know why (honestly, I don't care, I am just happy it works) but it is relief in a cup. Normally a drink like that would be way too sweet - my normal Starbucks order would be a a basic cold brew or iced coffee, but I am sticking to decaf while pregnant and right now that would be too harsh on my tummy anyways I think. 
Anyways.
Knowing we were going to Target, it was all I could do to not run from the car into the store and head straight to the Starbucks. Relief was very near. I go in, order and start watching the barista make the drink. Except she was making a vanilla bean frapp, not the cafe vanilla I ever so politely requested. She then tells me when I question her, she has no clue how to make it decaf. I dont think she would have known how to make it period with the questions she was asking me but that is not the point. So I ask for a refund knowing I could probably talk my husband into going to another store. She cant do that either and tells me to go to guest services to get it worked out.
I was met at guest services by a nice lady who was also pregnant, and I just said "I am so nauseated I just really wanted my drink" and I BURST INTO TEARS.
You guys. I'm standing in Target sobbing over a frappuccino. I explained that I am not always this emotional over Starbucks - that I am on a combination of meds and hormones that are just making this seem that much worse. I just wanted a break from the nausea though - it was so close but so far away.
She was so sweet and went to make the drink herself for me as I stood there trying to get myself under control. My husband comes around and says "I left you for less than 5 minutes" and laughs at me. I deserved it. I was half laughing and crying at this point.
She comes back and was so very sweet. Asked if it was okay and I said yes and thanked her over and over.
The drink was not right, but she tried and I did not want to cause any more trouble than I had. My husband drank that one and every so kindly drove me to a free standing Starbucks after we left for my correct drink.
And we all lived happily ever after. 

So there you have it. Today I cried in Target because the barista in Starbucks did not know how to make my drink.

Cravings and exhaustion

I am going to be honest, I am surprised I have any cravings right now. Normally I am too nauseated to even want to think about food. Though I think I have that slightly under control with this tea I found at Target one day. It is by Pink Stork - their morning sickness relief. I think it is a little spendy - 10 satchels for $11.99 (though I did find a 3 pack on amazon for $22, so I will probably go that route!) ... You can make a few cups from one satchel which is about one days worth for me. So in the end I suppose it is not awful, and better than having to resort right now to a prescription of some sort. If you are nauseated, I do recommend trying it. It has a nice light peach flavor.

Let's talk about cravings though. Boy are they strong. My husband and I went on a little date on Sunday and stopped at this little place called The Roadside (if you are local you should try it). I had these amazing shrimp tacos (hellloooo, tacos!) that were really spicy and just overall delicious. I can not stop thinking about them. I feel so silly but they were just THAT good and I can't wait to grab some again soon!
I have eaten through a 5lb bag of cuties over the past few days - that seems to be a common craving for me thinking about my own kids. Orange juice too. Thankful for this one - it is nice to be craving fruits along with everything else!

I am tired. Not "hey I need to lay down for a half hour and I will be better" but "wow that 2 hour nap did not touch how I am feeling right now" sort of tired. I am guessing it will pass soon. I have to give props to my husband. He leaves the house to work all day ... and has been coming home and picking up the slack as far as cleaning up the kitchen from the day. It is always my biggest struggle with either being just ready to crash, or the gagging over everything. I can cook the food but the smells after are so intensified it makes me gag. I know it is not his favorite job but I could not do this without him.

I think that is all for now!

6w5d ultrasound and updates

I went in for the ultrasound today - I am currently 6 weeks and 5 days along! I had hoped to video chat with my IPs but I screwed that one up by not realizing FaceTime is not Facebook video chatting (I don't have an iPhone) - whoops. I felt very bad about that. My ultrasound tech allowed me to take a video to send to them along with the photos they took and messaged to me after the ultrasound was over. So at least they were able to see the baby's heart beating through that! We will get the chatting platform figured out for the next one in 2 weeks though! Baby's heartbeat is at 137bpm.
I had a small bleed just over a week ago, that we can with pretty good confidence say was from a really small SCH that showed up on the ultrasound today. The tech said I may see a little bleeding, or it will absorb and we wont see anything again. It is not threatening to the baby or myself and is fairly common in IVF pregnancies. So that was a relief to hear.

It was such a beautiful little sight to see. It was such a different feeling than my own. I felt just as much love - but the love was for this little baby and it's parents. That at the end of this journey they would be reunited and it will be exactly how it should be.

My middle holds tight that I can not have coffee (it was restricted until our beta tests starting back in the end of December) - which I can now, in moderation according to my OBs guidelines. It is funny since I love coffee and normally would never miss a chance to have some, that so far I have had one decaf iced caramel macchiato (a small one) and that has been it! My middle announced loudly in the halls at her school that "it was okay her little brother was drinking my smoothie because it is not coffee because I am so pregnant with a baby in my belly". Not many heard her and we had a little laugh over it. She is a little mommy at heart.

Gagging over anything and nothing at all has picked up, along with just general nausea most of the day (my 2 year old pretends to gag and then laugh at me now). That was something I went through with all 3 of my own - so I am used to it and try not to complain. It will pass in due time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would have loved for it to have missed me this time - but I am finding ways to deal. I bought some hard candies today as I am finding that eating/drinking to keep my belly from being empty helps. A handful of nuts (or a small cup of soup for example) here and there has been helpful - just to keep my tummy from becoming completely empty. So I rarely eat a full meal all at once - instead I break it up a bit. I am also exhausted come afternoon. I was cuddling with the little two the other day and fell asleep sitting with them while watching a movie. Not fully asleep as I was still aware they were touching either side of me - but enough where time had passed and I missed someone knocking at the door until I was poked by my middle one! I think part of it is from some of my medications too. Bruises are starting to show up on my backside where I do my PIO injections as well since they are every day now vs every other. I still rotate sides but they are just not getting that extra 2 days break before the next time it is poked again. The injections do not hurt - so no complaints. I will happily do them as long as necessary to help this little one along!

Cravings have included: veggie lo mein, a cuban sandwich (it needed extra pickles and crunchy chips) and pizza with extra sauce with green pepper and pineapple, a big green salad loaded with veggies and fruit smoothies. I am finding a fruit smoothie in the morning is an easy way for me to get something in my tummy without having to eat right away. I normally wait 2 hours before I eat in the morning as I just am not hungry, but with the nausea I just can not do that. After swinging into Target today I am thinking a vanilla bean frapp sounds good from Starbucks as well! I also just now, sparked a craving for oranges and cuties. I might need to make a stop if we go anywhere this weekend for some citrus fruits!
So nothing too crazy (some healthier than others but trying to keep the not so healthy in moderation) and I am still able to eat normally without many aversions - which has been nice. I did have to leave the room at dinner the other night while the kids ate because just the smell was making me gag!

I do think, that is all for now. I probably rambled enough by now anyways!

Emotional Day

I hate writing about 'bad' things but I also told myself this was going to be the whole story of this surrogacy and pregnancy. And this may not be considered bad - but just part of the process.
Around 10:30 yesterday morning while at my kids school, I noticed that I started bleeding. It was not a lot, not nearly to fill any sort of pad. But enough to throw me for a loop. I had had some cramping - nothing more than I thought the waist of my leggings was just too tight (yay bloating). I instantly put a message into my nurse at the fertility clinic - she called me less than 5 minutes after that. It was all I could do to keep from falling apart even though she had some very reassuring things about why this might be going on to say. I then messaged my IPs - I can't imagine what they thought and felt while reading that, but they turned whatever it was into concern for me. That might tell you what type of people they are - I feel so grateful I was chosen to do this with them. School was done an hour later and for the remainder of the time I would be sitting in a room with other adults just talking - so I chose to stay and just put my feet up like I would at home. I was a mess though. That class does not know about any of this yet (I am new to it, our Monday class knows since we have a closer relationship).
Once returning home, spotting started lightening up and eventually by bed it was gone. I was able to catch a short nap with my little ones, and we relaxed the rest of the day together playing games that I could stay hanging out and keeping my feet up. I upped my water intake as well. 
I have not had any spotting or bleeding since before going to bed last night. For that I am relieved.

The nurse said possible causes could be from the Endometrin suppositories or from a SCH (SubChorionic Hemorrhage) which can be more common in women who have undergone IVF. Being mid 5 weeks it is also not uncommon to see some bleeding. 

All of those reasons were reassuring, however I have never experienced bleeding or cramping so it was hard to focus on "this can be normal". My thoughts immediately went to my IPs. Today I am focusing on the good - that the bleeding and cramping has stopped and besides taking my dog to the groomer (where he is basically delivered to my car for me!) we are laying low today. We had some plans to go to the museum tomorrow, but since our tickets can be saved we decided it was best to hold off and maybe go over spring break so I can continue to take it easy and not overdue things so soon. Maybe playing it more safe than perhaps needed by tomorrow - but the kids were not told of the activity so no one will know the difference! (Plus, hopefully going on a weekday will be less crowded than a Saturday!). 

I did earn myself a PIO injection every day now instead of every other day. No complaints - I have said from the start I will do what is necessary for success.

So much of this journey is unknown and can change in an instant. I keep the mindset that everything will be okay and we are going to come out of this with a baby for my IPs. Their baby. And I will continue to keep that mindset because it is what I know, and positive energy is what we need.

So for now that is it, just wanted to fill in with what was going on. 

Cravings and development

I think it is mostly due to medications - but I have had some very intense cravings lately.
It started with a cuban sandwich. Which we fulfilled so I am good with that. For a few days it was donuts - the little glazed munchkins from dunkin donuts specifically (did not give in to it as of now). The other day a pizza with pineapple, green peppers, pepperoni sounded amazing. Tonight tacos seem like the right answer. And a gyro - holy smokes a really great gyro too.
It is a little crazy. Lucky (or not so?) for me, we live too far from most places to make fulfilling these really easy!

Everything as we know it is going well. I will receive my 2nd to last medication delivery tomorrow. Injections are fine. My hips the night and day after my progesterone injection feel like someone came at me with a baseball bat. Not really complaining - but it tends to wake me up in the middle of the night when the pain comes on. It doesn't last forever and passes by afternoon the day following the injection - so for that I am happy!

I am currently 5 weeks and 2 days. The baby is the size of a dot snail, or the size of a peppercorn if food is more your thing. Major organs are beginning to develop and the heart is starting to form its different chambers.

That is about all for the moment. Just taking things day by day and hibernating from the germs when we do not have school or classes!

I do feel a little Regina George after too many Kalteen bars ... my leggings are even getting tight lately thanks to the med bloat. Maybe time to make a custom pair of joggers!

Beta and meds

I had my first Beta yesterday and it came back 265! Meaning ... I am officially pregnant!! I will go back tomorrow for a second draw to make sure that that number is at least doubling.

Looking at a full sharps container had me thinking about how many injections, pills and suppositories I have gone through so far.
So breaking it down:

 - 23 Lupron injections (Injected in the belly daily. I stopped doing them the week prior to transfer)

- 8 PIO injections (Progesterone in Oil; Intramuscular injection. Those are done every other day and started the week of transfer).

- 39 Estrogen patches (Ranging from wearing one patch at a time to 4 at at time currently. They are changed every other day).

- 34 Endometrin suppositories (Another form of progesterone; I started with 2x/day and now do them 3x/day)

- 40 Baby Asprin

- Daily prenantal and Vitamin D

Before transfer I had 2 ultrasounds to check my lining, 5 blood draws since starting meds up until now (with another tomorrow for my 2nd beta). I've had 3 days of bed rest (right after transfer), and now have various restrictions.

I have done all of my injections myself and have only almost fainted once (the first PIO injection). It has become part of my day and while I still write it down in my planner and have reminders in my google calendar, I just automatically know when to watch the clock and do everything.

I am currently 4 weeks pregnant - and meds (the PIO injections, endo suppositories, baby asprin) will continue until I am about 10 weeks where they will start to look at my numbers and begin weaning me off. I could be on meds until 12 weeks if necessary (with the exception of prenatals which will continue obviously throughout the pregnancy)!

Every single medication is incredibly important - I have zero complaints about any of them. While I would gladly inject myself 3x a day if it meant I would not have to do the suppositories - sure, I would actually do that in a heartbeat! But the suppositories are fine - messy - but fine and they do their job!!

The Tuesday after

It has been 4 days since the transfer. We flew out Wednesday evening, spent Thursday wandering around - grabbed an awesome sushi lunch, checked out Target (it is my favorite one!), walked around and went back to the hotel. We enjoyed a home cooked meal at a friend's home before settling back in for the night for transfer Friday.
Transfer day arrived - I did my meds in the morning, ate a light breakfast and off to the clinic we went. Labs were first for a quick blood draw then they sent us up to the surgery center. Every one there was incredibly nice. I had an acupuncture session soon after going into the room - which I fell asleep about 5 minutes after she was done putting the last needle in. DH said I might have snored but oh well - it was that good of a quick nap! Ultrasound came in next to check how full my bladder was. The hardest part about transfer isnt actually the transfer - it is the full bladder. They allowed me to empty a little 2 times - and I made sure to go less than the max they said I could. But seriously - all I could think was "please don't pee on this amazing, renowned Doctor when he is doing the transfer". After I had another acupuncture session where again, I dozed off. About 20 more minutes of laying and resting after acupuncture was finished - we were back to the hotel. We grabbed McDonalds fries because it is a good luck thing among surrogates - and I spent the afternoon sleeping and watching tv. My husband and I chose to not have cable in our home about 2-3 years ago now and we both realized that we do not miss it at all!
Surprisingly bed rest went by pretty fast. Lots of naps and relaxing. I am a belly sleeper which is not allowed, and I was afraid it would take forever to fall asleep - but that was not the case at all thankfully!
Sunday we packed up and made our way to the airport and came home. The kids were very excited to see us - as we were them! That was the longest I have been away from them ever!

The girls were very curious about how it went and if the baby was in my belly. I have always been honest and keeping it in simple terms - they both came up and kissed my belly and said "hello baby" and hugged me again. I always remind them about whose baby it is, and where baby will live ... and they always know the answer. So I am not concerned at all about them being confused. I think our youngest is just too young to really understand so again, I am not worried about him either!

Today before my oldest got on the bus, she touched my belly and asked about the baby. I told her that I will continue to take it easy and we will cross our fingers and say our prayers that baby decides to grow and stay. She leaned in and whispered "you stick around little baby, we will take care of you for your mommy and daddy" - I teared up a bit. She has such a gentle heart. And she is right - we are taking and will take the best care if given the chance.

PIO injections - I admit I had been worried but they do not bother me in the least. Which is a good thing since they will continue for a while into the pregnancy. The needle looks worse than it is and so far I have done them all myself with no issue - so I am thankful for that. So if anyone sees this and is about to start - take a deep breath - remember why you are doing this and don't hesitate. You got this!!!


I think that is all for now ...

The first PIO / Progesterone in Oil Injection

To get ready for transfer I had my first PIO (progesterone in oil) injection today.
The needle is quite bigger than the one for Lupron and it goes in the backside above your bum near the hip area. The shot itself went in fine - I try not to think about it and just do it. I poked it in fast like I was told and pushed the progesterone in slowly. Midway through I felt very clammy and like I was going to pass out. I didn't pass out, but I sure did need to lay down right after for a bit. Luckily my middle child likes cuddles so we enjoyed some Barbie superhero show for a bit while I "recovered".
That is not me complaining - at all. I would do this shot and feel that same way 3(+) times a day if needed to make everything go as planned. It just came as a surprise!
I was set up to video it and then forgot to press record. Maybe Wednesday I will remember. 
I am however proud I gave it to myself! Not that there is any prize or reward in doing so, but I can't always count on my DH to be home at the same time so I wanted to be sure I could so I was able.

(there are two needles shown - the one on the syringe is used to draw the meds, and you switch to the slightly smaller one for injecting)
We are all set to leave at this point. Flights, hotel and transportation are all booked. I head back to my Dr office for one more lab draw tomorrow to check my progesterone levels. I do need to start packing and finish cleaning the last few things around the house I want done before we leave. But otherwise, we are ready. The process seems so slow while you are in it, but for me the last few weeks have flown by since starting medications.
I probably wont write again until after transfer- so if you pray or send good vibes: wish us a safe flight out and arrival to our destination; steady hands for the Dr.'s; good health for everyone involved; for a perfect little embryo that finds itself a home for the next 9ish months; for calm feelings for us, for our IPs and those surrounding us on Friday; and safe travels back home Sunday. Any any other good vibes/prayers you want to send our way!
I have already felt so much love and support from those of you who know what is going on. And I appreciate it more than I could ever say.

Let's do this.

Until next time...

Transfer is ...

January 26th! Plane tickets are booked and hotel will be booked Monday. Hoping we can either take a hotel shuttle or just use Super Shuttle/Uber. We will not be driving around so a car really isnt necessary!
As excited/anxious as I am - I have to say I am happy they did not move it up to midweek - just solely because of childcare on our end. We are flying out Wednesday evening, will have an appointment on Thursday and transfer will happen Friday! Then we will stay until Sunday and travel back home.
It feels like we just started everything yesterday - I have so many emotions running through my head. All are good. The biggest thing though - is I feel honored. I will go more into that another post.

My bag is out and I have started throwing things in there that I do not want to forget. I don't feel like I will need much so I think packing will go fairly fast!

More to come ...

Level checks and ultrasounds

Meds have been going very well. I went in for an ultrasound on the 12th and my lining was measuring at 12.8. The Dr who will be doing the transfer wanted me to set up another appointment for that Monday (the 15) to repeat the lab and ultrasound as they were considering moving up the transfer to tomorrow. I did not add any patches to my routine, but kept at wearing 2 and have been since. Clearly we are not transferring early. I had one more appointment today and my lining is now at 14! We are just waiting on a call now from the clinic to see what they say and if we will keep our original transfer on the 26th, or move it up to earlier in the week!

More meds

On Saturday I started the estrogen patches along with baby asprin and reduced my Lupron to 5 units from 10.
No new symptoms. My back still hurts like crazy but it is not anything I can not live with! I keep the heating pad out and rest as needed and all is good! I really can or should not be complaining.

I sewed up a new shirt for my oldest yesterday morning. That was relaxing and the new pattern (my first go at a euro pattern!) came together really well! I already have a few more planned in my head to make for her. I also need to get a few other things done .. which I should probably start!!!

Not much else surrogacy related to share - we are moving along each day! 

3 weeks

We are exactly 3 weeks out from our (intended, because it could change a few days depending on how labs/ultrasounds go before then) transfer date! It is hard to believe we are nearing in on the date when too long ago, we had no date and was not sure when things would get rolling!
I stopped birth control pills after the 1st and am only on Lupron for the moment. I am waiting on my cycle to start - I am guessing today some time or tomorrow. I never thought I would find myself wishing it to start!
The side effects from Lupron have been interesting. Headaches were strong up until about 5 days ago. I tried warm and cold compresses, a heating pad, my husband giving me a back rub but nothing would really help. They stopped thankfully. Just a minor blip I suppose! Now I am dealing with some pretty intense lower back pain - today is better than yesterday - where I could barely stand up straight. I left dinner dishes in the sink last night and took care of them this morning because I just wanted to sit (adding - normally my awesome husband would do them - but he was working late and did not arrive home until close to 9 and still had work to do. I told him to just leave them and get to bed when he could! The dishes certainly were not going anywhere. As it was he was working until almost midnight!).
So today seems better. Still sore but it is manageable. And totally not complaining - just to throw that out there. Medications have side effects and they are listed pretty clearly. I think it is just interesting what ones actually happen! (And from reading - they could be a lot worse. So I am thankful they are not).
I finally had to be honest with myself this morning though and tell my husband I would probably punch anyone for their iced coffee if given the chance (actually not punch because I am not violent like that, but I may try and talk them into handing it over!). I really, really miss iced coffee. But, soon enough, I keep reminding myself, I can enjoy a decaf ;)  I mainly just love the taste so decaf does not make me sad like it does to some!
Over Christmas I began cleaning/throwing/selling/donating all of the extra stuff in the house. I am down to one more room before I feel like I have gotten through the majority of it. I am aiming to have it done prior to transfer so it isn't on my mind afterwards! That and I would love if my mom did not walk into a disaster area when she comes to help with the kids when we leave for transfer, and I am sure she would appreciate it as well!

I am still debating if I want to get in for a massage before transfer (just because I wont be able to for a while afterwards, so why not!) and I need to get a chiro appointment or two scheduled as well. I am mentally prepping what I want to bring to transfer to do while on bed rest as well ... I have a new book chosen but that will only get me so far!

That is all for now!