Potential Match!

I got the call I was not expecting for at least another month or more - that we have a potential match! I received the call on 7/25 mid afternoon and was shocked to say the least! In a really good way though!
We have a video chat with the potential IPs next week! Anything can happen of course. And no matter what happens - that we both like each other or one/both of us decides to continue looking for that perfect fit - it is another (exciting!) step in the process!

We are officially ...

In the process of being matched!

Now, that could take 2-4 months on average they warned us, but it is exciting knowing that somewhere out there - there is a couple who we will be a fit for (and they be for us)!

I actually found out yesterday - we have not really told anyone so it was weird not sharing with family at our bbq! I wanted to wait until my husband was around to start sharing though!!

Wrapping up the pre-matching details

We are at the tail end of wrapping everything up before we can be matched. Sounds like my insurance will work out as far as coverage, everything from our therapy session and my psych testing came back fine (I was not concerned but I suppose, you can't ever assume on things!).
I also did a little digging. I will not be able to use my midwives at the birth center that I had our 3rd child at. I did however find some midwives that are just down the road from us (by just down the road I mean 20 minutes - but that beats the 45 minute drive to the birth center) that is in-network along with the hospital they deliver at. The hospital is on the newer side and allows for water birth - which was/is a huge thing for me. I have had wonderful water births with our last two children and if all goes to plan, I would like to utilize a birthing tub during this delivery as well. We will have to tour the hospital, but it is nice knowing it is fairly close to our family so we have help with our children when the time comes!

Word has it the matching process may start as soon as the end of next week into the following! I am excited to be moving forward, but also nervous if I am being completely honest. I have full trust in our agency to connect us with the perfect couple/family and make sure everyone is comfortable before moving forward!

"I'll carry your baby!" and minor updates

No - we have not been matched yet. Just to be clear there!

But as I was showering today I had a flashback to high school. I was out of state visiting my best friend. She of course introduced me to all her friends. I met one - we will call her C (to keep her name/information private) and we were talking about everything and anything. Somehow we got on the conversation of children and she mentioned that she was told it might not be possible for her to carry/have children. I remember without hesitation saying "well I will carry them for you!".
Mind you, I was maybe 16. I did not know much about surrogacy, the process and heck, whether or not I would be able to have my OWN kids. I just always assumed that it would not be an issue and I would give birth to as many children as my heart desired.
I just found it interesting and random that that memory was triggered today. If I wanted to get into detail I could probably tell you the shirt C was wearing that day too :) I had not thought about that conversation in years ... kind of makes me wonder the other things in life I have forgotten about!

We are getting closer to the matching process. I have an appointment Monday with a 3rd party insurance review company to give my insurance company permission to talk with them to see what is and is not covered under our own insurance. This will help determine if a secondary insurance plan needs to be taken out by the IPs for me.

I suppose that is all for now!

Mental Health Exam

Well - we just completed our mental health exam. I was required to take the MMPI and the PAI (combined were just over 900 questions!). We had a great visit with the therapist after and talked about a lot of important and thought provoking things. Some that we had talked a lot about and others that we had not really touched on. It was a long 4 or so hours though that I spent in the same office!

Besides our home visit, it was one of the first things that felt really personal. Up until now it has been a LOT of paperwork - and really only that. I have to admit I have been craving a bit of the personal interaction. The actual discussion vs the hypothetical "when we get there" talks. Maybe that does not make a lot of sense written out like this. But it is a good thing.

The therapist also showed us the typical needles for the meds that are used. The little one I did not mind seeing ... the larger one made me a bit more squeamish. Nothing I cant handle but hopefully my husband won't mind helping me out with those! 

I suppose again I don't have much more to update. Hopefully we will start hearing a bit more from the agency soon about the next steps!

home visit

There is no greater motivator than knowing someone is coming to your home to see how you live.

Which means for the past week I have been throwing, cleaning, wiping, organizing, and well, more cleaning ... because I clean my best when I know someone might look.

I also understand why my husband refuses to repaint our living room light gray. I spent 2 hours scrubbing crayon off the walls in this house ... oh boy. Perhaps in a few years when our youngest stops coloring on everything we can revisit that idea!

Until the next update ...

slowly moving along

I had my physical with my OB and was cleared (pending a clean report from the lab, though I anticipate nothing coming up).
I am working on finishing up my profile .. and boy am I finding it difficult. How do you write about yourself in a way that portrays every thing you want it to so someone gets a good sense of who you are? Especially when you don't want to create a novel. I think I have finished it and am sending it off this afternoon with some photos ... but being honest it makes me just a little nervous for some reason!

We are just about 1 week out (9 days actually) from our home visit as well. I feel like I can not get a grip on the cleaning and keeping things cleaned. Especially laundry - oye the laundry!

That is about all for now I suppose!!

a great (short) read

The Surrogate's Point of View

I found this to be a nice little read today! 

I am headed to a Minneapolis Find Your Village gathering tomorrow and am SO excited about it. 

I will have to blog a little about it after ... and next week I get one appointment checked off my list of things to do! My records were sent to my former OB's office and I see him on Tuesday. 

 

home visits and appointments

We have our home visit scheduled for May 19th! That will be yet another thing to check off our list of things to do.
I did find out today I need to find an OB for my yearly exam and for medical clearance. I was really hoping the birth center and midwives I used with our 3rd baby would be able to help with all that, but they need an MD after their name. So back to the drawing board. I am going to have to have my records transferred again and have someone go through it all ... again. I am going to be calling my former OB clinic and see if I can get an appointment with the OBGYN that originally cleared me when we were looking at this back in 2014. Hopefully that will help and he will remember me and remember going through everything. I had zero complications with my 3rd birth so I see no reason for him to find anything concerning! It is just a matter of getting everything faxed back over ... and paperwork can seemingly take awhile.

I am hoping when we get to that point I end up back in the care of a midwife/midwife team - even though I would need to be in a hospital for delivery. It is a bummer I could not be at the birth center. I was so comfortable and felt so empowered there. But I know that I can find peace/power that I felt there - anywhere with the right support team!

So that is where we are at right now. Appointments are being set up and paperwork flying around!

Until next time...

picking up where we've left off

We have started the process of moving forward once again! My third little is still nursing before nap and bed, so we are getting all our other ducks in a row before the matching can begin (I need to be completely done nursing him).

I set up an appointment to update my yearly physical and have some release forms signed saying I am physically cleared by my midwife to move forward. We are waiting to hear on when my daughter has her dance recitals so I can set up our home visit as well. Hopefully that will be set by next week for sometime in May. We have our mental health exam set up (this is where we had to stop the process last time, when I found out I was pregnant with our own!) for mid June. Then I believe we will have a home visit and start the matching process shortly there after!

Almost everything up until now has felt like we have done it before (well, because we HAVE). Now that we are facing new things I get little butterflies knowing we are that much closer to another step in the process and being matched! Being honest, some days feel like I am in a race car on the track, but I am not the driver. Things move fast, appointments being made quickly and while I am the one making them - it feels little surreal. Other days it is like I am on a city bus and we are stuck in traffic and the bus lane is blocked. There is nothing to do and I go about my day and don't do anything regarding this process.

Our third baby. He made me realize as excited as I was before to carry, my heart truly was not set on our family being done at 2 kiddos - no matter how much I tried to convince myself I think I always would have thought about that one more. Right now, I am completely, 100% confident that we are done and I could not imagine any more children of our own. It is such a comforting mind set to be in and have. How lucky have I been in life. I have always wanted to be a mother. It never crossed my mind growing up that I could possibly have trouble. I didn't. Getting pregnant came so easy. I don't want that to come off as bragging. Every time I look at my kids I am so thankful for them and my heart breaks thinking about women and their husbands who have and do struggle day after day. And gay men and women who want a baby/child and are being held back in one way or another. I can't think of a better way for me to give to someone. I love being pregnant. Yes - some aspects, like opening the fridge and gagging because the air is cold, is less than fun. But I enjoy it and for someone to trust ME - to carry their little human. It is incredible all around.